Checking In

It's been a while since my last post so thought it would be time for an update.

I'm doing really well lately. I've been on methotrexate for 5 months now, 4 months at 10mg and 1 month at 15mg. I've managed to sucessfully wean down from 300mg of cyclo, I'm currently on 150mg. I've been dropping 25mg per 2 weeks. So I took 300 daily for 2 weeks, 275 daily for 2 weeks, 250 daily for 2 weeks, etc etc :)
The first week that I do this my skin gets angry and I get these HUGE pimples that look like bug bites...

 But by the second week this subsides and I'm ready to drop down again. I really can't wait until I'm off the cyclo for good. Going to be a good feeling :)

The weather has been getting warmer here in Korea and I've been making the most of it by swimming in the sea and catching some sun, my skin loves both :) I'll be moving to hot, humid and sticky Vietnam in August, so I hope my healing can continue in a new environment!

Here are some pictures of me exploring Jangdeung beach, about a 30 minute drive from my apartment. My skin loves the sea!

Anyway that's all for my check in :)

Hope everyone is doing well xx

Methotrexate week 3 and Thailand pictures

I have been taking Methotrexate for just over 3 weeks now and wanted to write a little about my experience so far!

I also just got back from a great trip to Bangkok in Thailand so thought I could share my pics here too :)

First off..methotrexate! So when I last posted I wrote about my ridiculously complicated drug schedule, it's getting easier to remember as time goes on but its still unbelievably complicated and I can't wait until I can transition to taking my immunos once a week once the MTX kicks in!
I took my first dose of methotrexate on Friday 5th Feb, two 2.5mg pills in the AM and two 2.5mg in the PM to make a total of 10mg a week. The morning dose went fine, and I took 150mg of cyclo in the afternoon as directed. When I took my 8pm dose of 5mg MTX thats when things started to get a bit...weird.
Firstly I started to feel SUPER dizzy and just...spaced out.. is the only way I can really describe it. I've taken psychedelics before and this genuinely felt like a toned down version of this. I felt SUPER weird and sick. The spaceyness subsided by Saturday morning and I was left with just feeling super super sick. I also had a horrible chemically taste in my mouth. By Sunday afternoon it had all subsided.
The next week was much better, I didnt get any of the crazy spaciness, nor the sickness, just a little bit of the chemical taste. By week 3, I had no weird symptoms at all, so I'm happy with that. I think the weirdness was just my body adjusting to a new drug in its system.
I'm really hoping things continue to go well so that I can wean myself off the cyclo and onto the MTX fully.

Anyway here are some pics of me enjoying the crazy Bangkok heat! It was hot and sweaty and sticky and my skin fought with me a little but ultimately didn't give me too much trouble.

S x

Introducing Methotrexate....

I just got back from an amazing holiday in the Philippines and my skin behaved perfectly. I'm always suprised just how well my skin responds to being in the sea and the sun every single day. It LOVES the salt.
Here are some pics of me whilst on holiday!

Unfortunately, and typically, as soon as I got home my skin has gone crazy again :(

I had my 2 monthly derm appointment yesterday, thought I would update my blog seeing as I usually forget !

The derm now wants me to introduce methotrexate with the hopes of phasing out the cyclo. I'm all for this, I've heard great things about MTX, and the thought of only having to take pills once a week rather than two or three times a day totally appeals to me.

So I currently take 300mg of cyclo a day, the derm wants to keep me on this dose. Except for the days that I take my 10mg of methotrexate; he wants me to take 150mg of cyclo on this day. I also have to take folic acid once a day every day except for the days I take the MTX. It's a complicated system and I had to make notes in my derm appointment to keep up. The language barrier also didn't help! I'll admit I'm super scared about changing because the thought of halfing my dose (even for one day a week) is scary as my skin goes CRAZY when it doesn't get its cyclo. But I'm optimistic!

I will definitely be updating here as I go.
Here's my drug schedule in detail for anyone that's curious and would like to compare their own. I've included all the pills I take (probiotics, vitamins etc). I still need to check the dose of my folic acid so i'll add that in later.

If you have any experience of crossing over from cyclo to MTX I would love to hear from you!

S x

19 months/17 months update and a rant

(19 months off topicals, 17 off all steroids)

So, probably because I'm struggling much more at the minute than I have been, I've decided to post another update.

I went on holiday to Japan, it was amazing! I did have some skin troubles though :(
But I thought I would post some pictures of my skin, along with some pics of my holiday because why not!

So before I left I was just coming out of a flare and while I was there my skin was GREAT. really smooth. However the heat made me very sticky and I think that's the reason I'm back in another flare now :( I'm trying to remain positive.

Here are some pictures!

I somehow manage to not look like im trying to tear my skin from my limbs. Fancy that!

Anyway here are some skin pics, flaring now.

^this is the general texture of my skin. its horrible. bumpy, oozy, sticky. ugh :(


I'm feeling very emotional, not wanting to leave the house, feeling desperate. I just struggle to see the end sometimes. I know it will come (or at least I hope). It's just so hard to carry  on with no guidance. I think that is the hardest part for me. I just want to be able to go to the Dr, explain my situation and trust that they will do the right thing for me. But I can't do that. The Dr doesn't have my best interests at heart and that is hurtful and makes me feel hopeless.

Dr Rap has been posting on the facebook group a lot and has created a blog which is infinitely reassuring. I just wish there was a Dr Rap in every country, infinite Dr Raps!!

Nowadays I think the only use in going to most Doctors is if you have researched your condition, you know what drugs you need and you just have to go to the Dr to get the script filled. I'm sure most people can relate to that. How stupid is that?

I recently saw someone post this sign they had seen at their doctors..

Maybe I'm feeling particularly emotional lately but I can't put into words how angry that makes me. I cant tell if its a 'joke' or not but even so...we as patients are now going to be punished for taking our health into our own hands? There is a reason so many of us 'self diagnose' and that is because our doctors are not doing it for us! Despite the fact that that is their job. Despite the fact that they should listen to our needs and not just mindlessly write us a script. We are not all the same. We are all different, we have different needs and we should be treated as patients, not customers.

I know I shouldnt get so angry but when I constantly walk around in a skin that feels 2 sizes too small for me, shedding skin everywhere, having anxiety attacks when I get even the slightest bit sweaty, it is very difficult not to blame the people who did this to me and to so many others.

Hmph :(

Anyway that's all for now. Hopefully I will see some relief soon :( x

Time for an update... (photos)

(19 months off topicals, 17 off all steroids)
Been a while since I posted so I think now is as good a time as any.

So what has happened since I last posted...quite a lot I guess! I have moved to South Korea to teach English for one. I was still on 300mg of ciclosporine daily when i left and i got an appointment with a derm here ASAP. The derm really does not like to prescribe me ciclosporine here. And it is EXPENSIVE. I am paying about $120 a month for my prescription. So I attempted to reduce my dose in the hope of being able to come off the meds at some point soon.

I have been on 300mg a day for a long time, over a year, so I had no idea how it would go. I reduced from 300mg daily to 200mg daily about 7 or 8 weeks ago now I think, and my skin has gone slightly crazy, mostly on my face.

Severe itching, some burning, LOTS of shedding, edema, oozing, insomnia, urgh.
I am seeing flares in places I have never had trouble with before, including on my face. Scabbing, oozing and flaking around my mouth, edema and shedding around my eyes. I have dated the pictures so you can see how it tends to flare and flake, heal temporarily, then starts the cycle again.

I am hoping this is just a flare happening because I am reducing, and that once my body adjusts it will calm down a little, but I'm feeling pessimistic if I'm honest! I am however looking into starting LDN soon so hopefully that will help. This is an expensive medication to take overseas!

Anyway, less chat, more pictures.

I intend to update once I have started LDN/began to reduce further so hopefully more updates soon.



Photos, oldest first

16th July 2015
Skin around my mouth had been dry for a long time, things started to get crazy on this day.

face very swollen, dried ooze around mouth

^^ trying to stop the ooze at work!! argh

^^^ post-ooze. very swollen around the eyes. smiling though!

17th July 2015, the next day.

^scabbing around the mouth. neck is very red with elephant skin


18th July...things get a bit crazy

^ burst into tears when I woke up and saw this. Took a shower and gently exfoliated. Then, applied zinc and lemongrass balm.

^post exfoliating and balm application.

^Later that day.

^comparison between AM and PM. My shower/exfoliation and application of balm really helped.

20th July 2015

^things still very calm!

21st July 2015

^feeling smug with my rapid healing!!


Things have stayed pretty stagnant since. Residual dryness around my mouth and a sore neck.
Sorry for bombardment of photos but it is useful for me to see them all together and hopefully others' will find it useful too!

Hope everyone is getting by! <3

TSW Month 7, Photo Update

(9 months off Topical Steroids, 7 months off all steroids)

So I thought it was about time I finally posted a photo update! I got back from holiday in July and showed you all how great my skin was thanks to some sea and sunshine - unfortunately what followed that was my longest flare to date. I'll post the photos of my flare and then I'll post the photos I took today. Most of the worst photos from the flare were taken around 2 weeks ago. I finally started to get a break a few days ago and I am REALLY enjoying it :)

Since my flares are MAINLY localised on my upper body thats what I've included photos of. My legs have been mostly clear since around week 6 TSW (I'm going to include a comparison of this at the end too) My arms didnt look too different to be hoenst during this time it was mostly my back and torso that i suffered with.

Less chat, more photos!

During the flare

Its kind of annoying that the camera can't seem to capture just how much PAIN and discomfort I was in. The skin was so raw and sticky, I could hardly get dressed in the morning.

BREAK! :)

Comparisons

So there we go! Super happy with my healing at the minute, that was one of the worst flares I've suffered and it really got me down. 

Also my legs are literally so smooth right now, theyve been clear for a while now but they are literally perfect at the moment. Here's a comparison of before I started TSW and now:

Healing happens. I know it seems crazy and unlikely and horrible but we just have to stay strong and keep smiling.

Lots of love.

S x

Day 188 photo update

As promised here's a photo update! My skin is doing so well now, couldn't be happier, so smooth. I look a bit weird, keep stroking my skin in public!

Here are some before and after photos, most of the before photos were taken around 3 weeks ago. It's worth noting that I'm still on ciclo, but I was when I had these flares too so I think there must be some natural healing going on too!

(Bottom left taken today)

(Bumps on the left, couldn't even see my tattoo my skin was so bumpy and elephant-like! Right is today)

(My neck and décolletage are two of my biggest problems,  they're so smooth right now! Right was taken today)

So yeah I'm super happy with the way things are going. I have a derm appointment a week on Monday and I'm going to discuss reducing my ciclo-finally! My flare 3 weeks ago was one of my worst but it was worth it, as it always is.

I hope everyone's doing well, it's so hard to push through sometimes when you feel like you'll be in a flare forever but I've got faith that we will heal, keep on keeping on :) x

Hello hair!

Hi all!
Just a quick one and a warning that if I bump into you on the street, I am not actually currently transitioning into the American werewolf in London (or the British werewolf in...Britain), it is in fact apparently just a side effect from the ciclosporine (I hope, maybe stay away from me during future full moons, just in case)

I actually had to TRIM my arm hair today, with SCISSORS! I also have lovely attractive long blonde furry sideburns 8) maybe I'll start a trend? The hair on my head is thicker too but not in a good way, it's really wiry and uncontrollable. I've asked around though and apparently this is common & it should settle down in a few months.

If it doesn't maybe I'll just start auditioning for a walk-on part in the next Twighlight film or something.

Here's a delightful photo of my caterpillar arm pre-trim



S x

Day 78/Day 19

78 days off TS, 19 off all steroids (inc. orals)

Just a photo update today. Flared up a bit last week and it's healed nicely, I'm having a little mini break (still v dry and nowhere near 100% but much more bearable).. they never last more than a few days but those are the best few days. 

Wrist 26/03, 27/03, 31/03

EDIT: wrist 03/04 really happy with how it's healing :)

(/end of edit 03/04)

Left arm 26/03, 27/03, 31/03

Even though I hate these flares I am encouraged by the fact that they pass really quickly, at the minute id say I'm passing through 1 cycle a week, which is pretty fast I think.

 

Can't wait to reach the 3 month mark 

S x